How to get closer with friends
Sometimes, you and the person just click, and you immediately become joined at the hip. So I reached out to a few experts to get tips on how to build deeper friendships. Below are some ways to bond with a friend, any friend, so that you guys can get one step closer to calling each other besties. One of the best things about having friends is having someone to celebrate all of the good stuff with. But one of the best things about having good friends is having someone you can go to with the bad stuff, too. If you want to become closer to someone, you need to learn to open up to them.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: YOUR FRIEND VS YOUR BEST FRIEND
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to become best friends with a guy + tipsContent:
- Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships
- How to Become Close Friends With Anyone
- How Can I Become Better Friends With Someone?
- How to Have Closer Friendships (and Why You Need Them)
- 8 ways to bond with a friend to become even closer
- How To Grow And Deepen New Friendships
- Making Good Friends
- 10 Ways To Make Your Friendships Closer Than Ever Before
Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships
I have friends who like to hike, and friends who like to chat over coffee and friends who live far away but whom I talk to a few times a year. But close friends? Not so much. A childhood friend and I had a falling-out, never to be repaired. Another close friend moved away. But the research is clear: Close friendships are necessary for optimal health and well-being. Levine said. True close friendship unsurprisingly does not need to be quite as extreme. Chen said. Reciprocation is also a key element to creating intimacy.
If close friendships really are vital to human well-being, it would seem that we would be intuitively skilled at making them. But it turns out that the opposite may be true: Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form.
According to John Cacioppo, a social neuroscientist who specialized in the study of loneliness he died in , humans would have evolved a built-in bias against easily making friends because avoiding an enemy would have been more important than making a friend.
Capiocco said in a interview in The Atlantic. In the modern world, that tension is more nuanced. She explained that admiration came with a lot of perks: It feels good, it has social benefits, there may be status and even financial gains to be had. Culturally we are also more focused on career success, financial accomplishments and family milestones than we are on connection with others. Are you willing to tune in emotionally and respond if they reach for you?
Johnson said. Getting closer to your existing friends requires making the time and being intentional. Once you have determined to work on your friendships, here are five techniques to try.
Before we can attempt closeness, we need to have security. Through his research, Dr. Levine has identified the five foundational elements of secure relationships, which he refers to as CARRP.
Consistency Do these friends drift in and out of my life on a whim? Availability How available are they to spend time together? Reliability Can I count on them if I need something? Responsiveness Do they reply to my emails and texts? Do I hear from them on a consistent basis? Predictability Can I count on them to act in a certain way? Once these five elements are in place, it can pave the way to a deeper connection. Likewise, if you have friends who are flaky, unresponsive or unreliable, it will serve you to try to see if they can become more CARRP and if not, look to other people for close friendship.
The next step of creating close friendships is to just open your eyes. Humans have a unique ability to read emotions by mimicking subtle facial expressions. This mimicry helps us empathize with the emotional experiences of the other person. Johnson suggested that you look that person in the face and give your full attention. This will create a psychological sense of connection.
If you want to be seen for who you are, you have to be willing to stop pretending to be somebody cooler or smarter than you are. Make that goofy joke. Share that less-than-flattering detail.
In his 40s, Mr. Miller said, he had a successful career as an author and public speaker and an audience that adored him, but lived without true intimacy in his life. Determined to connect with others, he learned that the only way to get the intimacy he was searching for was to start being more honest about who he was.
Helping people understand and accept you may sound intimidating, but getting started is easier than you think. When your friend responds in a way that feels supportive, give positive feedback by saying how helpful that was, or what a good perspective your friend has on your situation.
Most of us would consider a close friend somebody we could call in a pinch. But if you, like me, have a romantic partner or live close to family, you might rarely find yourself in a pinch that requires a friend.
Sure, these were pretty good friends, but were we medical-procedure close? When I posed this situation to Dr. Levine, his suggestion was simple: Take them for a test drive. He suggested that the next time I had an issue — a tricky work situation or I needed help coordinating a birthday dinner — I should go out of my way to lean on a friend. Not only is this a low-risk way of testing how reliable a friend is, it also builds closeness. I asked the same question of everyone I interviewed for this article: How much closeness do we need?
Chen said that it varied from person to person; some of us need dozens of connections, some of us need only two or three connections, but we all need some closeness to others. Johnson emphasized that building intimate connection in our love relationships is even more essential than building it in our friendships.
Miller said that it had to be the right people. Levine mentioned that being able to confide in somebody or call in an emergency is only one type of closeness, and not necessarily the only important kind.
As Dr. Do we even need close friendships? What exactly does closeness mean? Create a foundation of security hint: Answer that text Before we can attempt closeness, we need to have security. Pay close attention The next step of creating close friendships is to just open your eyes. Let yourself be known If you want to be seen for who you are, you have to be willing to stop pretending to be somebody cooler or smarter than you are.
Take your friends on a test drive Most of us would consider a close friend somebody we could call in a pinch. Home Page World U.
How to Become Close Friends With Anyone
Last updated on February 12, Scientists at Stony Brook University in New York have designed a method where 2 strangers were able to become close friends in less than 60 minutes. What researchers call the Fast Friends procedure 1 will not only help you build deep relationships quickly, it also helps you know what to say next in a conversation. Professionals such as police, interrogators, and psychologists have learned how to build trust and befriend a stranger rapidly based on these findings. This means the procedure is perfect to use when meeting someone over a cup of coffee, while traveling, or at a party.
Our society tends to place an emphasis on romantic relationships. We think that just finding that right person will make us happy and fulfilled. But research shows that friends are actually even more important to our psychological welfare. Friends bring more happiness into our lives than virtually anything else.
How Can I Become Better Friends With Someone?
In one of the site's central articles I go over a basic structure for how to make new friends. It focuses on the beginning stages of meeting some people and starting to hang out with them. Some readers say they get stuck at this point. They're okay about finding some new acquaintances, but aren't sure how to take things further than that. Here I'll talk about some general guidelines for taking a new friendship to a deeper level. The concepts I'll describe below often happen automatically as a friendship progresses, but you can take more control of your social life by deliberately trying to use them. They mainly apply to individual friends, but some of them also carry over to becoming tighter with a group of people.
How to Have Closer Friendships (and Why You Need Them)
Sometimes, you and the person just click, and you immediately become joined at the hip. So I reached out to a few experts to get tips on how to build deeper friendships. Below are some ways to bond with a friend, any friend, so that you guys can get one step closer to calling each other besties. One of the best things about having friends is having someone to celebrate all of the good stuff with. But one of the best things about having good friends is having someone you can go to with the bad stuff, too.
Nobody is a stranger to deep diving into the Facebook rabbit hole. You know the scenario. Maybe the blue light that illuminates our faces as we scroll through feeds and friends is to blame for disrupting our sleep cycle.
8 ways to bond with a friend to become even closer
One of the most important parts of deepening your friendship is learning how to be a good friend by being supportive and handling conflict respectfully when it comes up. Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 3 Quick Ways To Make People Like You
Like any relationship, friendships take effort and work. As people hurtle toward the peak busyness of middle age, friends—who are usually a lower priority than partners, parents, and children—tend to fall by the wayside. Our increasingly mobile world also strains friendship. In one study that longitudinally followed best-friend pairs, people moved 5. This matters because when people move, their families may come with them, but they leave their friends behind. And even though extended, remote social networks are more accessible than ever for anyone with an internet connection, proximity still makes a difference.
How To Grow And Deepen New Friendships
I have friends who like to hike, and friends who like to chat over coffee and friends who live far away but whom I talk to a few times a year. But close friends? Not so much. A childhood friend and I had a falling-out, never to be repaired. Another close friend moved away. But the research is clear: Close friendships are necessary for optimal health and well-being.
Friends start out at different levels. With some people, we might remain casual friends for a long time, and with others we have the opportunity to become closer. Sometimes friends will bond faster after they experience a shared activity, and other times closeness will happen naturally. The pace at which you bond is partially up to circumstances beyond your control after all, some people just aren't going to click , but you can try to become better friends with someone if you hit it off and want to speed things up. If you only see each other casually for things like your kid's baseball games or the monthly book club , you won't bond as close friends.
Making Good Friends
Building friendships takes time, and can often be a struggle for those who are introverted or shy. The next step is to forge closer friendships. Be Yourself Sometimes, the last person you want to be is yourself — you feel shy and awkward and completely uninteresting.
10 Ways To Make Your Friendships Closer Than Ever Before