Girlfriend looking for validation
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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Needing Someone Else To Feel ValidatedContent:
The Single Best Thing You Can Do for Your Relationship
A slew of people around me have been going through breakups recently. Anyway, back to the fragile thing.
Breaking up hurts the ego, again, especially for the dumpee. Some of the thoughts that have ran through my head during the breakup are:. I hope the next guy is terrible and she realizes what she missed out on. These were fleeting thoughts that I would usually dismiss, but I noticed something about them…they all spoke to my need for validation. Here are some of the examples I noticed from the relationships crashing around me, max-validation style:. Weekend after weekend of joyless barhopping, hangovers, and regretful late-night decisions.
But you can see the hurt in them, and the fastest but not easiest way to get over someone is to get that needed attention from someone else. You do need to give yourself some goddamn space and time to reflect and work on yourself. You are already a great catch. The only validation you need is from yourself.
Recognizing that a lot of my thoughts were driven by a need for validation forced me to look at the relationship, and my ex, in a different light. The thoughts changed I hope she gives herself enough space and time to fully heal.
I hope she takes the lessons from this relationship into the next. I hope she ends up finding the man who makes her happy. Breakups hurt because we obviously care a lot about the other person and the relationship we had with them. If we truly care about the ex, then we should wish them the best.
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Join Newsletter. Breakups leave us in a fragile state. Especially if you are are the receiving end of a breakup. I want to go out and get attention from other women I hope the next guy is terrible and she realizes what she missed out on These were fleeting thoughts that I would usually dismiss, but I noticed something about them…they all spoke to my need for validation.
Here are some of the examples I noticed from the relationships crashing around me, max-validation style: Social media games, aka rushing to be the first to proclaim singlehood on Facebook. The thoughts changed:: I hope she gives herself enough space and time to fully heal I hope she takes the lessons from this relationship into the next I hope she ends up finding the man who makes her happy Breakups hurt because we obviously care a lot about the other person and the relationship we had with them.
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Validation: The Most Powerful Relationship Skill You Were Never Taught
After you break up with your ex, you lose a sense of yourself. You have, for quite some time, been a couple. That identity has defined a large part of who you are. In a sense, your ex girlfriend or wife had validated who you are.
When we think of what we can do to nurture our relationship, we often think of tangibles. Buy her diamond earrings. Take her out to an elegant dinner. Surprise him by wearing sexy lingerie. Buy flowers and chocolate.
RLE: How To Handle Girlfriend Seeking Validation
I wrote this in response to a post from David at How to Beast. I had this problem myself for many years. Mainly, you care too much about the opinions of other people. Not only their opinions, but their approval. If you continue down this path of seeking endless validation…you will be easily used and manipulated by others, no better than a puppet on a string. As a man in the modern world, you have three different types of unhealthy social validation you need to watch out for. None of these are harmful outright. Superhero…jet-setting billionaire…a guy who gets girls…anyone you want to be. You know what that place is called?
I no longer put him on a pedestal. Whoever I date pretty much can do no wrong in my book, which is very dangerous. I make sure my relationship is a two-way street. I see us as complete equals. If I want to have a strong relationship, my boyfriend and I have to be equals.
I have a desire to be adored by men. As an adolescent, these expectations ran through my head constantly. Pathetic, right? I felt happy and successful when I had at least one or two guys crushing on me.
Hey there, I’m Sim
No matter who you are, dating can be a rough ordeal. We all try our best to be the most attractive version of ourselves, glossing over our faults and unpleasant memories, stressing whatever traits we think will win us brownie points with the person across the table. But what if the feeling of wanting to get your date's approval never goes away?
Some forums can only be seen by registered members. Originally Posted by jaypennington. For the people who have followed my story, we are still together. For the people that don't know my story-- my girlfriend and I met eachother and became official after about 2 weeks of dating. I have heard that relationships can't be stable if you jump in so quickly Im 32, she's
The Breakup-Validation Cycle
When we get rejected, treated poorly, or someone blows hot and cold in a relationship with us, we often become stuck and fixated on that person. Usually when this happens, our interest in this person turns into a fevered obsession and we go to great lengths to get them to notice us. We will engage in shape shifting behaviours, where we stop being ourselves and try to turn into whatever we think they might like best. We will jump through hoop after hoop hoping to demonstrate just how special and unique we are, so that they will change their minds about us. Why do we do this? Is it because, if we actually get them to change their minds about us then that somehow proves our worth?
I’m in Love. But I Still Crave the Attention of Other Men.